The Expert Grifter
Practice makes perfect
“Hello!”
“Hello, is this Mrs. Jordan?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry to inform you that your grandson William Jordan was just arrested for a DUI and he doesn’t have enough money to post bail. It is $5,000 and if you don’t pay it, he will go to jail for the rest of his life.”
“Billy??? Ooooh… You said it costs $5,000?”
“Yup. I’m sorry mam.”
“Oooh… (sob) I wish my husband was here!”
“I’m sorry about that but you need to hurry. There is only so much time before the trial.”
“Ok. How do I get you the money?”
“It’s easy. All you have to do is send us some bitcoin.”
“Bitcoin? What’s that?”
“It’s a new, faster way to transfer money. That way it will make it in time for your son.”
“Oh… I hate computers.”
“Mam the clock is ticking. You’re going to have to hurry.”
“Ok… What do I have to do?”
“It’s easy. You just have to find a Bitcoin machine near you, enter your debit card information and send it to the address we tell you. If you give us your home address we can look up the closest machine to you.”
“Ok. It’s 324 W 35th St, Chicago, IL 60616.”
“Sounds good.”
“The nearest machine is five blocks south. Write down this bitcoin address and send it to there: 1L6fSm44Mbwukd99hctPT63F3ixGWbv6aY. Call me back at 847-867-5309 when you are done.”
“Ok”
“Remember mam you need to hurry. If it isn’t done in one hour your grandson will go to prison for the rest of his life. Don’t talk to anyone else. There isn’t time. Just go!”
“Alright!”
4 Hours Later
“Hello!”
“Hi! This is Mrs. Jordan.”
“Mam! We didn’t get the money and it’s been four hours!”
“Sorry. I got lost and I don’t get these stupid computers!”
“Your grandson might go to prison!”
“Wait! Is there still a chance to save him?”
“Yes! Just go to the machine and use your debit card to put in the $5,000!”
“I can’t figure out the machine! Could you come here and show me?”
“Mam I can’t come over there. You need to do it yourself.”
“What if I paid you to come here?”
“I don’t think it would work.”
“What if I paid you $50,000?”
“(cough) Uh let me check with my boss.
…
He says it would cost $100,000.”
“Uh… I’d rather not do $100,000. That’s all the money I have.”
“Alright Mrs. Jordan. I guess your grandson will go to jail.”
“Uhhhh… Ok! Fine! But you better bring something that proves you got the bitcoin.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well if I’m going to send you that much money, I need to know you got it. You’re not one of those scammers are you?”
“Oh no! I’m not a scammer! I’ll bring something to show you the bitcoin.”
“Good!”
“Alright! I’ll book a flight and be there tomorrow.”
“A whole day? Will Billy be ok? Wait. Are you really from the US?”
“Yes! Of course I am! I need to prepare things before I come and I will tell them to take special care of Billy because I am the big boss! Ok?”
“Fine. Call me when you get here.”
“Will do!”
Next Day
“Hello Mrs. Jordan!”
“Hello! I never got your name. What is it?”
“It is Mohammed.”
“Oh. Hello Mohammed.”
“I found out the address you gave me for your house is the White Sox stadium! You lied to me!”
“Well you didn’t expect me to give you my real address did you?”
“No! That was good thinking. You have to be careful of scammers.”
“Yes. I agree!”
“So do you want to meet me at the bitcoin machine?”
“Yes. I will see you there.”
(Hangs up.)
Mohammed approached the bitcoin machine. Mrs. Jordan was already there. She was an elderly black woman, heavy set but short. She was clasping her purse and nervously shifting back and forth.
“Hello Mrs. Jordan!”
“Hello Mohammed. Do you think Billy will be ok?”
“Yes, he will be if you have the $100,000.”
“I do. Do you have the bitcoin computer?”
“Yes of course! I just bought it for this occasion!”
“Let me see how it works. Send some bitcoin somewhere.”
“I would but my account doesn’t have any bitcoin.”
“The police don’t have any money? Are you trying to scam me???”
“No!!! I would never do that! Trust me Mrs. Jordan.”
“Well there better be an account with money in it!”
“Uhhh… ok. Hold on. Let me talk to my boss.”
“Good!”
“Hello! I need you to send me the password for our main account. I know, but this lady is going to give us $100,000 and she said she will only do it if I can show her we have money in the account! Yes I’ll write down the password. Bye.
Alright I will prove to you that we have money!”
“Good!”
“See! Look! We have about 2 bitcoin here which is about $200,000. Ok???”
“Send some!”
“Uggh… Ok. Here. Look!”
(Sends some bitcoin)
“Ooooh that’s fancy!”
“Yes. Now do you have your debit card?”
“Yup!”
Mrs. Jordan reaches into her purse and pulls out a gun.
“Uh??? Mrs. Jordan??? What are you doing???”
“This is the South Side moron! Everyone on this block knows me! Drop the bitcoin!”
Muhammad turned and started running.
POW!!!
Mrs. Jordan shot the gun at Muhammad and nailed him right in the butt.
“AAAAAAAAAAGH!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!”
Muhammad was writhing on the ground.
“GIMME THAT BITCOIN!!!” yelled Mrs. Jordan.
“OK!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!”
A large black man stepped out from the alley and grabbed the bitcoin wallet. “Dang Grandma! You’re a good shot!”
“Of course! I’m not dead yet! Transfer all the bitcoin into your account!”
“Yes mam!”
Mohammed yelled, “PLEASE DON’T TAKE THAT! IT’S ALL WE HAVE!!!”
“Wow! That’s the same thing I said to you!” said Mrs. Jordan
“BUT MY BOSS IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!”
“Not my problem!”
“NOOOOOOO!!! DON’T LEAVE ME!!!”
Later on, as Mrs. Jordan was walking back with her grandson, she said, “Billy, this is the fourth time you’ve gotten a DUI at college!”
“Yeah! Pretty amazing since I never went!”
Thanks for the prompt
!Prompts for 07 February 2025
Write about learning to use a new tool
like leaden echoes
“It’s all I had”
The type of character who likes causing trouble
Mrs. Jordon rocks!
A very close friend of mine was scammed of over $40,000. Unbelievably they caught the thief. And my friend received her money back. A complete miracle of justice. I wrote about it in this article last spring time. And good for Mrs. Jordan!
https://open.substack.com/pub/charlottependragon/p/theater-of-the-macabre?r=127z9b&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false